Hey! What the...
Watch it!
Come on!
Hey, watch it, asshole.
Hey.
Where are you off to in such a hurry?
Wherever I want. Now get out of my way!
-Move! -Okay, chill, man!
I'm moving.
I'm safe. No way he finds me up here.
It's just your nerves, Tommy. He's not here.
He can't be.
All right, you snooty clown.
You won't take me without a fight.
Speak, damn you! Say something.
Say anything!
Mime the gap.
And, boom!
Wow, look at that.
My agent was right.
This is it. My big break.
The one that takes me from C-list action guy
to A-list action guy.
Oh. Yeah. Oh, sorry.
You don't even know who I am.
Let me introduce myself.
My name is--
Cut!
Nope. My name is not "Cut."
But you get that. You're smart.
Unlike that guy, the director, and I use that term very loosely.
He's only here because he made a really popular shampoo commercial...
...somewhere in Yugoslavia.
Now, you'd think a guy like that would be grateful for the opportunity.
But no.
Not this guy.
And you know why?
Because he's a bully,
and there's nothing on this earth I hate more than a bully.
What the hell was that?
-What the hell was what? -That!
The line is, "Gravity's a bitch."
Not "Mime the gap"!
We have to have that line.
Remember, you say it at the beginning, and then it comes into play at the end.
Oh, come on, Ethan.
We both know that "gravity's a bitch" is a terrible line.
You don't see the writer
-raising his hand to complain. -Uh, guys, could you...
And honestly, even if he did, he's just a writer.
I can always toss a can of Blab out the window
and get another one that will beg for a chance
to rewrite this garbage.
I don't need some diva D-list action star improvising lines.
I was found in the slums of Thailand,
where I worked as an assassin, killing men with only my pinky.
So if you wanna keep giving me grief,
then, pal, we can end this right now.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call acting.
Bam!
Yeah, I... I mean,
"Mime the gap" is pretty clever.
After all, filmmaking is about collaboration.
We can make it work. In fact, I love it. Great idea.
Glad you came around. Now, don't bother me.
We've got one more day of shooting before Christmas break
and your star needs some "me" time.
Chuck. I thought I said no orange ones.
The dye will kill me.
You want me to die, Chuck?
No, Mr. Cage. Of course I don't.
I... I would... I'd give my life for you, sir.
Oh, I bet he would.
That's Chuck, my assistant.
Fresh off the bus from who-knows-where.
I mean, he told me,
but boring info like that just slips away, you know?
Good kid.
A little obsessed with yours truly. But who isn't?
All right, keep up the autographing.
There are some adoring fans desperate to see my face.
Johnny! Johnny!
Oh, man. We are screwed, kid.
Brian Van Jones, producer extraordinaire.
Good guy.
We've done a few films overseas. Nothing you'd remember.
But this movie is as much of a break for him as it is for me.
Is this about the rewrite? Now, before you get upset,
did you hear the line?
You are gonna love it.
I throw the guy off the train and I'm like, "Mime"--
No, Johnny, it's Jennifer.
She's gone.
Who's Jennifer? Oh. My co-star, Jennifer?
Yes, your co-star. The star.
Well, I don't know if she's "the."
Her most important scene is slated for tomorrow,
and we can't find her.
What? Wait.
Are you hitting the booger sugar again, Brian? Come on.
I wish.
She's not answering her phone, her assistant's disappeared.
And if we can't get her on set by tomorrow,
this movie doesn't get finished.
And then we're screwed.
We pre-sold this movie all over the world on her name.
I've a million dollars coming from Nigeria.
Nigeria, Johnny.
You know how hard that is in a country that has three theaters?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean,
we know who the main draw for this thing is, right?
Yeah, she is.
I don't know what we're gonna do.
Without that scene...
This was my big break, you know?
A red one?
You know red dye will kill you, right?
Mr. Cage says that's the orange ones.
No, orange ones are fine.
Red ones will blow out your ass and melt your stomach.
Everybody knows that.
-I could do-- -Brian, calm down.
I'm on your side here.
Now what if I head over to Jennifer's house
and show her a little Johnny Cage charisma?
Really, Johnny? You'd do that?
Oh, come on, man. There's nothing to worry about.
Johnny Cage has it handled.
You're a special guy, Johnny.
In retrospect, this is where everything went sideways.
See my name
In the bright lights I got the fame
And the film lights, it's my time...
I've finished sending the gifts requested to your family and friends.
Great.
We're almost to the finish line, Chuck.
After I convince Jennifer to come back to the set,
we can finally take a break.
And by "we," I mean "me,"
'cause I'll need you to work through the holiday.
It really is the most wonderful time of the year.
Indeed, sir.
Though, it's strange to celebrate Christmas without any snow.
Snow?
You can leave that shit to the suckers on the East Coast.
Me, I like to celebrate Baby JC's birthday,
same initials, by the way, right here
in sunny SoCal.
Golden sunshine, blue skies, pretty girls.
-She's still looking? -Yeah.
-Still? -Yeah.
Good.
Famous
I'm so famous...
Mr. Cage. Can I ask you a question?
Yes. My hair is real.
No, I can't actually punch through metal.
And, yes, it's true what they said about Dolly and I,
but I don't like to talk about it.
No. No, I... I just...
I just want to know how you got so cool.
Good question, Chuck.
And lucky for you, we have a few minutes
for me to regale you on the origins of the Adonis you see before you.
I was once like you.
Truth is, I was bullied a lot in school.
You were?
Yeah, I was.
From Paris to Japan
Let's start at the beginning.
Yep, there I am.
Getting my ass handed to me in gym class.
You're gonna cry, little baby?
Aw, little baby's gonna cry.
Well, of course I'm gonna cry, you pizza-faced asshole.
You just threw a basketball at my nose.
My mom tried calling the principal, the teachers.
They all said the same thing.
"Boys will be boys. Things will get better."
But they didn't.
It got worse.
My mom, a saint among saints.
The person who always said fighting was for Neanderthals,
had had enough.
She took me to the local dojo...
...one of those strip mall places you've seen a dozen times.
This wasn't some sort of fly-by-night, black-belt-for-money joint.
This was the real deal.
That's when I met Master Boyd.
And my life changed forever.
Fed by love and good desire
A will of steel take you even higher
Bad memories that howl my name
That ember soon became a scorching flame
I'm coming back to rise again
I feel this will be the best of me
Nothing can slow me down
Or make me stop
'Cause nothing can stand in my way
I'm coming back to rise again
I feel this will be the best of me
Nothing can slow me down
Or make me stop
'Cause nothing can stand in my way
I'm gonna rise to the top
I had learned a lot in a short time,
but the greatest lesson wasn't about how to kick or punch.
It was something else.
Oh, look at that.
Little Johnny finally learned how to move out of the way.
Where do you think you're going, Carlton?
We're not through talking to you yet.
All those people that said being bullied is a part of life,
that it'll get better, they're full of shit.
The truth is, it only gets better when you fight back.
Yeah, I got in trouble, but it was worth it.
Therein lies the lesson.
Weak people bully.
But the minute you push back, they fold like a hideaway bed.
After that, I poured myself into martial arts.
My master said I was special, taught me everything he knew.
But that wasn't enough.
I traveled everywhere.
I have so many miles now.
Learning from the greatest martial arts masters around the planet.
Hapkido, kendo, savate.
I pronounced all of those correctly.
But eventually, all roads led here.
To beautiful, sunny California.
Stop! Thief! Stop him!
Kid, this is your lucky day.
So, Chuck, what'd you learn
from that well-told and incredibly inspirational story?
It's important to develop your inner strength
to help those in need.
And become a hero to the world around you.
No.
Kick first, be awesome, make money.
Here, I'll make it simple for you.
Write this down. W-W-J-C-D.
What would Johnny Cage do?
I just said that.
You're gonna be okay, Chuck. And we're here.
Under neon lights, it's paradise
And this is your time
So keep on dancing
Dancing through the night...
I'm sorry, Mr. Cage.
I know how important Ninja Mime is to your career.
Maybe... Maybe she's left town.
Just because she didn't answer,
doesn't mean she's not there.
I'll just hop the fence, take a look-see.
Oh! Uh...
Do me a favor, Chuck. Go down the hill and get my ride washed.
Maybe I should stay for a few minutes until--
Listen, Chuck, conversations with the ladies
tend to go on longer than a few minutes.
Get me?
No. No, I don't.
Anyway, make sure you get the wheels done.
And don't scratch it.
I'm counting on you, Chuck.
I got it!
Oh, the things I do for fame.
Jennifer!
Ugh! I've seen some dumps in my time, but, wow.
You think she'd have a little more self-respect.
I mean, hire a housekeeper.
Way to turn the libido down to one.
Yoo-hoo! Everyone decent?
We should've killed you when we had the chance, Ashrah.
Yes, Kia. You should have.
Ladies. Ladies, I'm not sure what's going on here,
but I'm looking for Jennifer.
Now I'd be happy to give this back if--
Oh, shit!
Fuck.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay!
Sorry.
Okay. Please just let me...
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
Whoa! Slow down.
Hmm?
Wow.
Obviously, this is turning us both on.
Can you feel that? But I don't have time.
I'm looking for Jennifer. Do you know where she is?
Get back here, Frisbee Hat.
Okay, wait for me!
I said, wait!
Is that a...
Oh, shit.
I'd like to say that I'm about to chase after them
because I'm concerned about Jennifer, and not about getting a movie finished.
Ah, shit!
And that's sort of true.
Jennifer's well-being is critical to the film,
so, in reality,
I am worried about her,
which makes me less of a jerk than we're all probably thinking I am.
Fuck.
Phew! Glad we got that figured out.
Oh, man. I hope I don't get blamed for this.
Slow down!
Stop! Please!
Hey, come back here with my car!
Are you kidding me, you jerk!
Oh, come on.
And over here we have the home of Jennifer,
world-famous actress.
Oh, smells like she's having a backyard barbecue of some sort.
I'm sorry, sir. This is a private tour.
I need you to follow that bike.
Sir... Wait. Do I know you?
Of course you do. I'm Johnny Cage, action star extraordinaire.
Action?
Hmm. Yeah. Actually, I'm really more into dramas.
Yeah, well, needless to say, I have connections.
And if you catch that bike, I'll read your script.
How'd you know I'm a writer?
Everyone's a writer in this town, baby.
Now move!
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
So glad you could join us on the tour.
If you look off to your left, you'll see my good friend Tom's chateau.
Yes, it's true. He does his own stunts.
But it's because he doesn't have much to live for.
And over there I found out girls really do just wanna have fun
with that quirky pop star you all know and love.
Tell my sister hello.
We'll find you, Ashrah. And when we do...
Ugh, freaking pigeons.
There she is.
All right, team, get me closer.
Um, are you sure that's a good idea?
I've seen my stunt doubles do this half a dozen times.
How hard could it be?
Turns out, really hard.
Whoa!
Ahhh! Now who'll read my spec?
What?
I'm alive.
-Chuck! -Mr. Cage,
I saw you jump on the bus, so I thought I'd follow and--
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't need the play-by-play. Get me to that car.
Yes, sir.
Signal.
Miss me?
Are you always so aggressive?
Okay.
Just tell me where Jennifer is, then you can have your dumb scroll.
I don't know. Now give it to me.
Well, it's been real... bad.
It's been really bad. Later, babe.
Okay. Drive this...
Great.
You know, you're a real bitch.
Whoa!
Hey.
Ladies, what do you think about the pool?
Brand new.
Are you okay?
Better than okay. Look what I have.
What is it?
No idea.
But if those kung fu bitches were willing to blow up a house
and try to kill me, it has to be important. Pull over.
It's literally a star map.
And what's this on the back?
It looks Greek to me.
You should leave the jokes to me, son.
No, I'm being serious. That's Greek.
You know Greek?
Remember when you starred in that film Gist of my Fist?
That one producer?
Well, he sent me everything over in Greek.
-I had to translate it for your lawyer. -Huh.
So, what does it say?
No idea.
But I have a Greek dictionary back at home.
We can go by and pick it up.
Oh! Maybe you can finally autograph my poster of--
Shut up. Well, whatever it is,
it's the reason that Jennifer is missing.
Which means there's only one thing left to do.
-Recast Jennifer. -Go to the police.
I mean, go to the police. Right. Yes. That's the smart move.
Come on.
I've failed you, Master. I've lost the scroll.
Kia was there.
And another.
A most formidable warrior.
Warrior?
Yes. He had a strong jaw.
If I were of this world, I would say... handsome.
If not for his determined spirit and distracting smell,
I would have the scroll,
and the forces of darkness would never have had a chance to escape.
You still have time, Ashrah.
The longest night is yet to come.
I will not fail you again...
Lord Raiden.
I do not doubt it.
And neither should you.
Ashrah.
What is the name of this warrior?
He is called Johnny Cage.
Hmm.
Go. Retrieve the map and see if you can enlist this warrior's help.
But Master, I can--
A cord of many strands is not so easily broken.
Besides, there may be more to this Johnny Cage than meets the eye.
Chuckie, grab that, would you?
Johnny Cage's car. How can I help you?
Give me that.
You're in the Cage with Johnny.
Johnny, it's your fucking beloved agent, Dave.
I need you to swing by the fucking office right fucking now.
Calm down, Dave. I would love to.
But I'm kind of in the middle of saving my movie.
-Jennifer has gone missing-- -Johnny!
I don't care if you're trying to save a fucking orphanage
from closing on fucking Christmas.
I just got the biggest fucking offer
of your career.
...wants you
for his next fucking picture.
Yeah. That.
Why the hell is that being bleeped?
Legal? All right. Fine, fine.
Everyone knows who I'm talking about anyway, right?
I mean, he did and.
Shit, seriously?
Okay, this... director... has the Midas touch.
One year, he'll make an adventure flick that makes a bazillion dollars,
and the next, a dramatic picture that wins all the awards.
So for now, we'll call him "The Big Man,"
so legal doesn't ride my ass.
Are you all right with that, lawyers?
Point is, can wait.
I'll be right over.
Ahhh!
Heart attack, heart attack
There's no going back
Heart attack
Mr. Cage, Mr. Doubldy is expecting you.
Stay out here, kid. I'll only be a minute.
Ah! Like with Jennifer?
Um, no. Weirdo.
What would Johnny Cage do?
Hi. My name is...
My foul-mouthed agent, David Doubldy.
Or rather, David fuckin' Doubldy,
as he likes to call himself.
Recognize him?
He's the guy from Venice Beach, the one that had his wallet lifted.
Turns out, he was one of LA's biggest agents,
and after my fancy footwork, he took me on.
He's been looking after me ever since.
Fuckin' superheroes!
Superheroes?
Only nerds like that stuff.
And the Big Man.
And if the Big Man says you're playing a turtle in a thong,
you better tuck those fucking jewels and get ready for a wedgie.
I do look good in a thong. When does it start shooting?
Beginning of the year.
Well, merry Christmas to me.
Great. I can't wait.
Don't I always take care of you, kid?
Always. I mean, fucking always.
One more thing.
Oh, is this about the ad lib?
Ugh, I can't believe that director snitched.
Okay, you tell him--
No. No, it's nothing like that.
Then what?
I heard you were at Jennifer's earlier.
How did you hear--
I'm your fucking agent. It's my job to know where you are.
Thing is, there was this, uh, piece of paper, sort of like
a scroll.
Yeah, we were just about to take it to the police.
David, it was crazy.
There was this babe in a toga trying to kill me.
Jennifer's place was bombed.
They're calling it a gas leak.
A gas leak? No, Dave.
Jennifer's missing. She could be kidnapped, hurt.
The scroll thing's probably the only lead we have to finding her,
so I'm going to the police and--
Johnny, you don't need to worry about Jennifer.
She's fine.
What I need you to worry about is giving me the scroll.
Okay?
What's going on?
Why do you want the scroll so much?
Okay, I was going to wait on this, but I belong to a club.
Real prestigious shit.
Like the Academy?
Eh, less ass-kissy.
This club has its fingers everywhere in this town.
You become part of this club, you'll always have work
and you'll be the superstar you always wanted to be.
Sounds great. What's the catch?
No catch. We... I want you to be part of it.
We're going to have a whole induction ceremony
at the Magical Mansion tonight,
and all you need to do is show up,
with those expensive veneers and...
give me the scroll.
What about Ninja Mime?
You told me, and I quote,
"This movie will make you fucking A-list."
Are you fucking deaf?
Stop thinking about Ninja fucking Mime
and start thinking about the Big Man's movie.
Think about tights and fucking capes.
I told you, Ninja Mime is already done.
And if you don't give me that scroll right fucking now,
so are you.
What did he say?
What did you say?
You heard me.
I made you.
Without me, you'd still be working at fucking Blockbuster,
yelling at customers about late fees.
Now, quit being a big baby
and give me that fucking scroll!
If I was a well-adjusted man, someone who wasn't picked on as a kid,
who didn't have a distinct problem with authority
and didn't hate, hate bullies,
I probably would've handled the next bit better.
You made me?
Listen, asshole. You don't do shit for me.
Sitting on your ass while I'm out there getting thrown through windows,
paparazzi chasing me into the john.
Ninja Mime is my best work, and you better pray it does well.
Because that's the last cent you're ever gonna get from me.
You're fired!
I was hoping to do this the easy way.
Give me the fucking scroll!
Sure. Here.
Spin kick! I call out my own moves.
I don't need a gun to take care of a bitch like you.
Some more of this.
Ponytails are dumb.
And the award goes to... your face!
You don't know what you're doing.
What the hell?
We fucking run this town, and you're as good as dead.
Ya hear me? Dead!
Yeah? Well, you're totally not worth 10%.
Oh, oh, is...
Is he... Is he...
Is he dead?
I'm sure he's fine.
See? He's fine. Chuck, get the car.
Where is Kia?
She was killed. By a member of the White Lotus.
What of the scroll and the chosen one?
Gone.
Then I'll leave it up to you to find him,
Jataaka.
Retrieve the map and the chosen one.
For the Shadow.
So?
I guess "protect and serve" doesn't apply
to celebrities on the verge of success.
Something weird is going on, Chuck.
We're gonna have to figure this out ourselves.
Okay. What... What do we do next?
"Party like it's 1999."
It's a song, by... Forget it.
Magical Mansion. Invite-only. I've never been because, well...
...after the SWAT incident with the birthday magician,
I was kind of blackballed by every so-called magician in town.
Forever.
Are you sure it's okay we're using the sound van?
Sound department loves me.
I'm sure they're fine with helping out the star of Ninja Mime.
How goes it on the scroll front?
-It goes. -Hurry. I'm about to head in.
If something goes wrong, call the army.
Or better yet, call the actor's union.
They're way tougher.
Name?
Cage. Johnny Cage.
Um... I'm sorry. You aren't on the list.
But, I mean, I should be. Right?
Sir, the Magical Mansion is a members-only establishment.
Unless you're a member or here as a guest,
which according to my notes, you will never be,
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Oh, come on. It was an honest mistake.
Wait. He's a guest of mine.
I've been around a lot of beautiful women.
She might take the cake.
Her legs were as long and curvy as Mulholland Drive.
And probably just as dangerous.
My cousin was killed up there.
Where have you been my entire life?
Getting ready for you, darling.
Shall we?
Don't we make a fetching couple?
After you.
So, Mr. Cage, what brings you to our little club?
My agent told me I should come check it out.
Said he wanted me to join.
And who is your agent?
Shit. Walked right into that.
Uh, his name is Dominic Boon.
Uh, do you know him?
No, I'm not familiar.
And Johnny Cage with the save!
But if you would like to be a member,
then you deserve... a private tour.
Anything you'd like to do in private sounds good to me.
Please, lead the way.
So cool.
Johnny? You're breaking up.
Uh, is this a basement?
Are we right underneath the mansion?
Why, if anything happened down here, how would the police know where to look?
They wouldn't.
Part of the membership grants you access to the old subway tunnels
that used to crisscross Los Angeles.
Johnny, I'm...
I'm trying to figure out where you are.
You're breaking up.
I can't... I can't hear anything.
So, about this initiation.
I don't have to, you know...
...do something weird, do I?
Define "weird."
I don't know. Drink human blood?
No.
You don't have to drink blood.
But you do need a member to stand up for you.
Which I'd be happy to do.
I wonder if she'd be willing to lay down for me too.
Chica-bow-wicca-bow wicca-bow-bow.
Sorry. I even do the porn music in my voice-overs.
Come. We aren't far.
Are you scared, Mr. Cage?
Pfft! No, Johnny Cage doesn't get scared.
I peed myself.
But you know, I'm not a big fan of the dark or being underground.
What if there's an earthquake?
Maybe... maybe we should just head back upstairs. What do you say?
You don't know what glories await you a little further ahead.
Well, shit. That's not fair.
Hyah!
-You! -You!
Me.
You need to stop hitting people.
What the fuck!
Come on.
What was that? I mean, she was hot, but energy beams?
What the hell is going on?
Her name is Jataaka.
One of three assassins from the Brotherhood of Shadow.
They are intent on raising their god in order to destroy the world.
Yeah, great. Everything you just said doesn't make sense,
including the part about a woman in something called the Brotherhood.
This is all a bit much.
I was just looking for my co-star, okay?
Whatever weird sci-fi thing you guys got going on down here
has nothing to do with me.
Agreed.
But as long as you have the scroll, Johnny Cage--
Oh, you're a fan.
Where is the scroll?
Oh. Uh, Chuck has it.
Then we must get to this Chuck.
So once you get the scroll, they'll leave me alone, right?
What other purpose would they have for you?
-Chuck, you there? -Johnny!
I just called the union, but they said something about dues owed
and that they can't help you because you're late--
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Never mind. I'm at the NOHO sign.
I need you to come get me as quick as possible.
You will be punished for your betrayal, Ashrah.
-Enough! -Oh, shit!
Ashrah has decided her fate.
But you, Johnny, you are special.
We need you for the Brotherhood.
Join us and all your dreams will come true.
Oh, no, this club sounds great. Where do I sign?
Fuck you!
Two years on the job, and he's never been late.
You okay?
Well, I just found out an evil cult is trying to raise a god in Los Angeles.
So all things considered, I'm all right.
Oh, hi. My name is--
No time for names, Chuck.
Tell me you've translated the scroll.
Most of it.
On one side is a map.
-To what? -Los Angeles.
This is the stadium, the Tar Pits, Observatory.
And if you connect the dots, it's...
So, this entire city is run by Satanists?
Oh, makes sense.
Not Satanists.
Disciples of Shinnok.
Shinnok?
Quite a name. Let me guess. The mad god you were talking about?
Yes. He is the ruler of Netherrealm,
and calls for the destruction of all things.
Well, sounds pretty Satan-y to me.
There. What's in the center?
That's Dan's world-famous Oriental Theater.
Oh, yes. Dan's world-famous Oriental Theater.
Everybody knows that, but I don't get it.
What do they want with the theater?
I mean, this Shinnok,
is he looking to put his horn prints in cement?
That's where they will open the gate to Netherrealm.
She's right.
The Greek on the back, okay, it's actually a spell.
It says that in order to open the gate,
they need what they call... "special" blood.
Or... the blood of a god.
Is that why Jennifer is missing?
I mean, she's good, but, well, I wouldn't call her a god.
No matter.
As long as we have the spell, she is safe.
We must retreat to our temple and fend off any attack to--
Retreat? Lady, I'm American. I don't even know the word.
I mean, I know it, but you know... You know what I'm trying to say.
Whoa!
-Ew! -Ahhh!
-Did you see that? -Yes!
She just jumped out and I spin-kicked her head off.
I know.
Oh, man, my therapy bill
is gonna be through the roof.
-You okay, Chuck? -This violence is out of control.
Tell me about it.
What are you doing?
Burning the paper. No spell, no Armageddon.
And if there's no chance of Armageddon, they'll let Jennifer go.
And we will be back on set before call time.
Jennifer?
Hi, Johnny.
Looks like you found me.
Well, not the first time I've woken up like this.
Merry Christmas, sleepyhead.
It's about time you woke up.
Jennifer? Jennifer! We gotta get the fuck out of here.
These crazy cultists want to sacrifice you
for some demon thing.
Hurry, untie me before they get back, so--
Oh, Johnny. Why would we do that?
Because I've got you
right where I've wanted you the entire time.
Come again?
You still don't get it, do you?
I'm starting to. You're bat-shit crazy.
Maybe.
But they say that about my god.
So, I'm in good company.
Jennifer, come on.
You can't be throwing your career away on some cult.
This cult is why I have a career.
The Brotherhood sent us here years ago,
but me and some others were lost.
Cut off from our realm.
We've searched for decades for a way back.
But then, we found the scroll and it showed us
how to bring our god here, to Earthrealm.
We scoured the Earth for the elements.
A Holy Kriss, a sacred chalice...
...and the blood of someone special.
You, Johnny Cage, have the blood of gods.
You're the one we've waited for.
You're the key to opening a portal for my king.
Well, I'm flattered, Jennifer, but I--
No.
No need to call me by that name anymore.
Please, call me Sareena.
The only thing I'm gonna call you is a fucking lunatic.
Why don't you let me go? Now!
We weren't sure you were the one at first.
It seemed impossible that someone so stupid
could be so critical to our mission.
It's been fun, watching you blindly do what we wanted.
From David taking you on as a client to being my co-star on Ninja Mime.
Even when Brian tricked you into going to my house.
Brian is in on it too?
Fuck Brian.
Everyone is.
Soon, our god will arrive, and we will rule by his side.
And all it costs is a couple of human sacrifices here and there?
Consider yourself lucky to be part of the coming of Shinnok.
Oh, yeah, real lucky.
Come on, Jennifer. Don't do this!
Do this?
It's already done.
Where are we? Where's Johnny?
That hack?
He's about to have another starring role.
His last, in fact.
Tell me where your master is.
I'm sure Shinnok would like a word with him
when he arrives in Earthrealm.
Stop it!
You're a strong one.
But what about him?
Leave him alone. He is only a boy.
There was a time in which you would have eaten this boy limb from limb.
Hasn't she told you?
That thing you think is human is a demon from Netherrealm.
A demon just like me.
I am nothing like you.
She pretends.
On a quest to find redemption,
which is your weakness.
You can't stand the suffering of the innocent.
It's why I became a director.
Now, Ashrah. Tell me, where is Raiden?
You think you can intimidate me?
I'm an assistant. I get tortured for money!
What would Johnny Cage do?
Is he dead?
Yes.
Aw, man. Ninja Mime is totally not happening now he's... Geez.
Ahhh!
I am impressed. You have a warrior's heart.
Mr. Cage always told me,
if I get in a sticky situation, to think about what he would do.
But since I didn't have time to exfoliate,
I thought that was the next best thing.
I don't know what you're saying, but I do know he is your hero.
So, Chuck Golden, let's save your hero before he dies.
Yeah. Uh, but... Is it true what he said?
You're not human?
No, I am not. But I'm working on it.
Brothers, sisters.
It is time that we give back to our god
for that which he has given to us.
We, the privileged, the wealthy, the beautiful.
All given to us so that we may live in this moment.
So that we can bring about his power on Earth.
Bring in the chosen one.
Get your hands off me.
This is bullshit. I don't care who you are.
When I get out of here, I'm gonna sue the pants off you.
They're not wearing pants. The robes, the stupid robes, I mean.
Shadam, Shanee, Shinnok.
Oh, look! The three not-so-wise ones.
Gag him.
Shinnok.
Shadam.
-Screw you! -The spell's not working.
I can tell how old you are.
Shinnok. Shadam.
So, what do we do?
I will get closer to try to free Johnny.
You must provide a distraction.
A distraction?
What... what type of distraction? I...
Remember...
What would Johnny Cage do?
With this cut, let the blood flow
that will open a gateway for our god!
Fuck you!
Please make it stop!
Shinnok, Shadam, Shanee.
Shinnok, Shadam, Shanee,
Shinnok,
Shadam,
Shanee.
It's working.
It's working!
Shanee! Shinnok!
Don't worry, Johnny.
You'll always be immortal...
in the movies.
Hey!
Who dares?
Chuck?
My name is Chuck Golden,
and I'm the best damn assistant in town.
Ow!
Oh, fuck.
Sorry, Mr. Cage.
Yes. Sorry, Mr. Cage.
No one is coming to save you now.
I wouldn't say that.
What?
I said, I wouldn't say that.
What are you saying?
I said, "Go fuck yourself."
Oh, come on!
It's too late, sister.
The Gateway is opening.
Sister?
You're telling me you're a...
A demon, yes.
Oh, that's hot.
No! No, no, no. No, no, no.
Sareena.
I thought you were lost to us.
I was.
But now, I am found.
Indeed.
Where have you brought me, my child?
The jewel of all places.
Earthrealm, my Majesty.
Earthrealm.
I have longed to feast on the bones of its denizens.
You have done well, my child.
And for that, you will be rewarded.
It's over.
He's won.
He hasn't won shit, not yet.
He is a god, and we are--
Earth's best chance of survival.
Listen, Ashrah.
That guy is just another in a long line of bullies,
and the minute you push back against a bully...
They fold like a hideaway bed.
Always.
You wanna be human?
Well, never giving up is part of our DNA, okay?
That and male-pattern baldness. Thank God I didn't get that.
Now think.
There has to be some way to get rid of this guy.
I don't know.
I might.
If we can get him back to the rift,
and I can say the spell,
it should close, trapping him wherever that leads.
Nah, that's a stupid idea.
I'm kidding. That's terrific.
Okay, Ashrah, can you get the scroll?
Yes. And what about you?
I'm gonna do what action stars always do.
Get a huge trailer and save the day.
Earthrealm.
Finally.
I have come to mete out your destruction.
Bow before me.
Celebrate my arrival.
Hey, even whiter David Bowie!
There's only one god we're celebrating today,
and it sure as hell ain't you.
Oh, shit.
-What happened? -You all right, buddy?
People of Earthrealm.
I, Shinnok, your new god, am here...
to destroy you.
Sorry about that.
I don't mind.
Neither do I.
All right, ugly.
Time to show you how rough this town can get.
Hey, man. I think that just pissed it off.
Oh, ya think?
Chuck!
The scroll!
Give me the scroll, boy.
I'll admit, it is not looking great for the Ninja Mime sequel.
Oh, I feel like you look.
But, hey, at least we're alive, right?
Don't answer that.
What was that?
Come on, Chuck. Come out.
Join us.
I know you really just wanna be a star like Johnny.
I can make that happen. Just give me the scroll.
I lied.
I'm gonna kill you.
Slowly.
Now, give me the scroll.
Sure.
Ah! I have it.
Huh?
Your quest to become human has made you weak.
There is nothing you can do to defeat me.
I wouldn't say "nothing."
You call them weak because they dream. They care.
They never give up.
That is not weakness, sister.
That is their strength. My strength.
Come, let me show you.
Unlike you, I am at home in my form.
I do not need to disguise myself any further!
Your feeble attempt to stop me is amusing.
But I must be about the end of the world.
Come, demons.
Come and eat your fill.
Goodbye, Sister.
Ashrah!
Goodbye.
Thank you, Chuck. Now we must go help Johnny.
We might have bigger problems than that.
Mr... Mr. Cage? Mr. Cage!
Mr. Cage, you have to get up.
This is the part of the movie where you make your comeback.
He thinks I'm something I'm not.
Some sort of hero,
rather than a guy who can kick high, hit his mark and...
look spectacular all the time.
Well, kid, you're out of luck.
Johnny Cage isn't a hero.
He's nobody... special.
You're special, Johnny.
You are special.
You're a special guy, Johnny.
"Special" blood.
The blood of gods.
They're right. They were all right.
I am special.
And I'm gonna do what I've always done.
Shove my special foot down this bully's throat.
I'm the last man standing...
Hey, pal!
This is the city of angels. No devils allowed.
It's a wonder that I'm still alive
I'm a survivor...
Come on, man. Is that all you got?
I'm a survivor
Well, look at that.
Even demons have balls.
Fuck him up, Johnny!
Challenge before me, yeah
Johnny! Johnny!
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny!
Am I getting a slow clap?
I'm getting a slow clap.
Johnny! Johnny!
Kick his ass, Cage!
Johnny! Johnny!
Yeah!
Impossible.
Get him, Johnny!
Yeah!
Eat it!
You fool! You may have power,
but I am a god.
There! No, there!
They're coming out too fast!
I will enjoy eating your bones.
Hey! Leave him alone.
-Yeah. -Come on, leave him alone.
Any last words, Earthrealmer?
Yeah, if I might.
Gravity's a bitch.
Chuck, now!
Close this door, forevermore!
Better safe than sorry.
Chuck, you did it.
You're the best damn assistant there is.
No. We did it, Mr. Cage.
A cord of many strands is not easily broken.
Well, would you look at that?
You got your white Christmas after all, Chuck.
And you... You were incredible.
As were you, Johnny Cage.
You have shown me what it truly means to be human.
If I had not made my vows, I would take you as a mate.
Well, we can work on that later.
But for now...
You know what?
When you save the world from a dark god,
you don't have to kiss the kick-ass demon fighter.
But for me... I kind of do.
Chuck followed in my footsteps.
He took the "what would Johnny Cage do" to the extreme
and signed up for some martial arts lessons at a strip mall.
This wasn't a good one.
Eventually, he put on this funny suit with all these glowing balls
and became my double on a bunch of video games.
He called himself "Mokap."
Didn't make any sense to me.
And the games, well, they were banned due to excessive violence.
-Come here. -Toasty!
Ashrah took off.
She said she had to continue her quest to become holy.
Being by my side made that a little harder.
Can't say I blame her.
I can hardly control myself around me.
And me?
Well, we made Ninja Mime and a sequel.
And another one after that.
In fact, my career was going pretty great there for a while.
But with every hill, there's always a valley.
That's life.
The biggest bully of all.
Oh, Johnny Cage. Johnny Cage. Where are you headed?
Off to shoot a new film on some remote island.
Beautiful scenery, beautiful babes.
I have a good feeling about this one.
Is this your comeback?
Comeback?
Lady...
I've never left.
I'm the last man standing
Walking through the night
Basking in the power and glory
Competitors bested
Challenges met
It's a wonder that I'm still alive
I'm a survivor
When it's down to the wire
I'm a survivor
Believe it when I tell you
I am but a man
Rising to the challenge before me, yeah
No chance of stopping
Get out of my way
Throwing all my fears aside
I'm a survivor
Yeah, my will is on fire
I'm a survivor
My will is on fire
I'm a survivor
You fuel my desire
And I'm a survivor
Yeah, my will is on fire
I'm a survivor
When it's down to the wire
I'm a survivor